Gaze And Presence
O friends on this path,
My eyes are no longer my eyes.
A sweetness has entered through them,
Has pierced through to my heart.
--Mirabai
Our dreams seem to know us down to our depths. So often they are shining a light on our true selves and inviting this deeper part of us to be alive in the world. They also show us clearly what gets in the way of this.
What is it like to be seen with such clarity and openness, with eyes of compassion? Our dreams can help us feel this for ourselves, firsthand. At times we encounter an actual gaze from a healing presence in our dreams, who wants to be in relationship to us.
DREAM:I’m sitting in a room with others. I become aware of a young man sitting next to me who is gazing at me, as if he wants to know me. I feel shy and avoid his gaze. Then I feel disappointed in myself, how I missed the moment.
To be seen and loved as we are, without covering up, is what many of us long for. It’s also a vulnerable place, and we may turn away as I do in this dream. All of us have wounds, and ways of reacting. We may adapt to the world by hiding parts of ourselves, thinking that way we’ll be loved. But our dreams keep showing us we are loved already.
In Natural Dreamwork we simply return and contemplate our missed sacred encounters and the feelings that want to be felt. I love the practice of staying instead of leaving, receiving the young man’s gaze. I feel welcomed in and more free to be.In a recent dream I’m caught up in thoughts of hurrying to the airport, which distracts me from presence. The dream keeps trying to slow me down and bring me into the here and now, even causing my feet to glide slowly over the ground.
Towards the end I’m with my daughter and encounter a healing presence:
We go in a room with many people sitting at ease, talking. I go to P (my husband) and say, “We have to hurry!” but now I see a young man. He looks at me with big open eyes, gazing. I feel how my words make no sense to him, all slowing down. I feel this in me.
I feel held in his gaze, slowing down. Time drops away. My thoughts, having no inherent reality, dissolve. A gaze can hold a world of feeling. The young man is seeing from the soul’s point of view and modeling this.This is a gift, especially when I fall back into hurry and worry. Take a breath, receive the gaze. It feels fresh and alive and part of a relationship – not just a good idea that will soon fade. Your dreams will give you practices so uniquely yours this can feel uncanny.
Being seen in this way can also encourage us to see others with more depth and openness. So often our eyes are clouded with old thought patterns and assumptions. We need practice, a second look.
One of Emily Dickinson’s most brief poems is this one:
Not “Revelation” – ‘tis – that waits,
But our unfurnished eyes.
What would it be like to gaze at another with “unfurnished eyes,” to make a space for who this person truly is, including the broken places? Our dreams and Natural Dreamwork invite us to look again, to see with fresh eyes. To stay a little longer. And to know our dreams and the beloveds who come in our dreams will never give up on us.
Marian Enochs Gay is a certified Natural Dreamwork practitioner offering a contemplative approach to dreams as a path to soul. She is devoted to helping dreamers deepen their relationship with their own dreams.