working with difficult emotions...

While it doesn't speak to dreams specifically the following poem I wrote does speak to what dreams open me up to, the places in my heart where I am connected to soul and the places that keep me from that connection. Jealousy is one of my many 'schmoos', as Ram Dass calls them. It is terrifying to be this honest with myself...until I come out the other side.

Jealousy

I hear the hurtful excluding comment so I know to look up 

...just in time to see jealousy coming up my walk, 

dragon fingers flexing, ready to clench my heart, 

nostrils flaming red hot rot that will sear, separate and blind me…

will squeeze my heart closed and turn other into object.

This time...just in time...it didn’t slip in past me, catch me unaware.

Curious...maybe even a little brave…

I step out to meet this familiar old dragon, 

“It doesn’t have to be this way you know,” I say... 

heart pounding, hoping it’s true.

Jealousy waits…

heat coming off the hand itching to bury itself in my heart.

Knowing one flicker of my story mind and it will be inside...

I breath into the narrow space left me and wait, 

another breath...another...surrendering to what it is I have to do.

I close my eyes...slowly...I let the feeling in…

feel what jealousy is hiding, what it promises to spare me from…

pain...of an ancient avoided wound

pain...of longing for the love that the comment denies,

pain…of loss for a connection missed.

I stay...I breath...I feel my pain...it hurts so much...and then…

I have to sit down on the step…

as the grace of sadness rises and flushes and flows out my eyes.

Sadness for myself... 

for the one who made the comment.

How difficult this is for all of us... 

even jealousy has to sit its dragon ass down…

gets teary eyed…

takes a ragged breath

...and becomes desire.

Mary Jo Heyen
Archetypal Dreamwork Practitioner
mjheyen@gmail.com 
Dream sessions in person, via Skype or on the phone
website: http://maryjoheyen.com/