the bliss of the pain of separation...

From ‘Awakening Shakti’ by Sally Kempton

“Radha is one of the secret Shakti’s (feminine principle of divine energy/Krishna’s counterpart.)  When her energy awakens within you, she can transform a mild interest in inner practice into a wildly personal love affair with the inner beloved. She transmutes ordinary desire into longing and passion into fuel for the spiritual journey.  Teresa of Avila, who carried on a life-long inner love affair with Jesus, as well as John of the Cross were infused with Radha energy.

Everything for Radha becomes Krishna, the butter churn, the trees, the leaves…

This is called the ‘bliss of the pain of separation’, and is considered one of the highest of all spiritual experiences. When Radha weeps for Krishna, her tears wash away all veils from the heart and everything becomes the form of her beloved.”

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Union with the Divine... 

In my dreamwork over the past couple of years I’ve been offered a precious gift, to truly feel an embodied love for God.  To receive this gift was dangerous and full of risks.  One false move and it would be projected into the outer world, onto another human being and the gift lost to me.  From my journal...“What a razor’s edge this is, yet I choose to walk it, because I trust it.  Too far one way and I lose myself in projection, too far the other and I shut it down.  Walking the razor’s edge means I’m willing to find out what this may be...a risky yet potent invitation deeper into the mystery.”  I’ve let my love for a trusted person be the vessel that opened me to my love for Him. Slowly, painfully and fearfully I struggled to keep it from going out into the world, keep it out of the realm of an idea that this kind of love is ‘out there’ and...finally...finally...embodied it to where I am in love with Him, like a lovesick teenager, with all the accompanying sighs. I get to feel this divine grace of love in my body, a flesh and blood woman in love with God and loved by God. In that place, there is a liquifying...I dissolve into Him. Throughout the day, dozens of moments, I feel Him call, and immediately turn my attention to Him; my breath accelerates and I may even have to sit down for a moment...liquify...then return to my day. 

Versus Separation from the Divine -

So what a painfully welcome gift today to finally make the connection and feel the completeness of this, the moments of union...and separation.  There is a person, a woman, with whom I would have liked to have had a deeper connection, a friendship; for whatever reason she’s not interested.  Today she acknowledged someone else, some little thing she has never given me.  In that moment, gratefully, I was aware of the pain and went deeper into that.  I felt myself stop right there...went no further into story and recognized...here is a moment I can feel the pain of separation. Could I take it the next step...to pain of separation from Him?  So here, too, another dangerous razor’s edge, this time feeling pain instead of love.  Again, too far one way and I lose myself in projection, too far the other and I shut it down. Can I use the vessel of another human being to help me feel, open to and stay with the pain of separation?  So just as it’s dangerous to mistake and project divine love for God onto another, it’s the same mistake to project the pain of separation onto another person...when it’s really a precious opportunity to take it all the way back...from the present person to the old wound…to Source...to feel both the separation and the union with God. Ever changing moments throughout the day, either my ‘in loveness’ for Him connects me to Him in any given moment...so even my “in painness” connects me to Him in any given moment of separation.  What a complete gift.

Mary Jo Heyen
Archetypal Dreamwork Practitioner
mjheyen@gmail.com
Dream sessions in person, via Skype or on the phone
website: http://maryjoheyen.com/