the arc of dreamwork...
What is it that can happen for us when we are willing to explore the material in our dreams…and even more…willing feel into the teaching that is there for us…often time showing a conditioned way we learned to be in the world…versus the way our true self, our soul would like to be in the world. And in that willingness we take the dream medicine which asks us to feel into this conditioning…a medicine whose taste may be difficult, may be painful, grief filled…a medicine that can be revealing and healing. Below are two dreams from one of my dream clients over the span of a few weeks.
In the first dream, though seemingly short, there is a lot of story around this friend. And the dreamer stayed open during session willing to explore and feel into what this was for him…
Dream - I am on some kind of trip with Larry and it all goes bad somehow. I wonder why I bothered even to try to do this with him, and decide definitely to stop having any further contact with him again.
We explored Larry…a long time friend, who believed the friendship was closer than it was for the dreamer. When Larry was invited to a meaningful event as a guest but not a participant, he made his displeasure known. He made a bit of a scene, expressing his upset, hurt and anger. Right here is where most of us can feel we have a handle on a dream. Larry was inappropriate and confrontative. Larry was wrong; case closed.
In Natural Dreamwork we look beneath the easily judged behavior and we invite the dreamer to feel more deeply into this moment…what is another way to speak about Larry’s behavior…and how is there a teaching here for the dreamer.
As we opened the dream, the dreamer admitted that it is difficult for him to speak up for himself, for his needs and desires…would avoid making a scene…would remain silent…and as a result often feels invisible…that his needs and desires don't matter. He is uncomfortable with the part of himself that wants to speak up and as his dream states “I want to avoid further contact with him again.”
And in respnse to this inner struggle the dream gives the image of Larry who is completely the opposite. Larry who not only knows what he wants…voices it! Larry, who is willing to make a scene, willing to express what matters to him and when he wasn't included in this event spoke of his pain.
I ask the dreamer to feel into this Larry part of himself…this desire to be seen, to belong…and though uncomfortable…he acknowledged that he would like to speak up more about what it is he wants, to express more his own desire and his own pain…and feeling into this part of himself became his dream practice…
A few weeks later the dreamer sent me the following dream…
Dream - I am at a concert and Larry shows up and sits next to me. I shake hands with him and clear my stuff from the seat so he can sit down.
Again, a short dream, with so much less story around it. I asked about Larry’s demeanor. The dreamer said, “he has a really friendly bearing, a look on his face like ‘we’re okay now’.” There was no feeling of neediness or aggression with Larry, no desire to avoid him. I asked the dreamer to feel into the gesture of clearing his stuff to make room for Larry. He said he felt a desire for connection, “I even pat the seat next to me like ‘sit down’…a warm transfer of energy between us. In this warm transfer of energy is the feeling of welcoming home this part of himself…this part of himself who can speak of his pain and his desire.
The dreamer is becoming more aware of moments in his daily life when he wants to express himself…how in that moment he was conditioned to not speak…and becoming more aware that he does have this desire…this need to express himself. He is healing the way he had learned to be in reaction to this part of himself to making room for and reconnecting to this open and vulnerable part of who he is in his true self, his soul.
Mary Jo Heyen is a Natural Dreamwork Practitioner working with clients throughout the country and abroad in person, phone or Skype. Learn more about her work with dreams at www.maryjoheyen.com or www.thenaturaldream.com