mascara...
Dream - I am walking through a parking lot and see a big car parked crookedly between two other cars. It is backing up and about to hit one of the cars. I smile and wave at the woman driver then indicate with my hands which way to back up. The car is in so crooked that it takes some doing. In the middle of this I see the backup lights of a nearby car. I give the woman driver a hand sign to stop backing up and I walk over to the other car. Out gets a large handsome man in a trench coat. I feel he is an authority around here. Without a word, he takes me in his arms and kisses me deeply…I kiss him back. I feel his love, everything about him, the texture of his coat, his arms holding me tightly. He then tilts back his head, looks in my eyes and says intimately, “You look good...what’s the black?” I say, “Mascara” (running down my eyes.)
This dream, from quite a few years ago, came right around the time my dreamwork experience was deepening to the point where I had to stop wearing mascara.
As I was descending into my dreams…trusting their teachings…as I was willing to stay with the images my dreams were bringing…willing to feel into what needs and wants to be felt…and to take a breath into that…tears were beginning to rise throughout the day…tears that carried feelings of joy, love, loss and grief. There were even tears rising in unexpected moments…unexplained tears…tears that make mascara run.
In this dream there was (and still is) the part of me that feels the need to offer unsolicited help…that I know how things should be done and the need to intervene…ouch! And yet in that moment I leave this place and go to the man in the car. And this man, my Beloved, knows the places I’m stuck, knows all about how I am in the world and supports me in these places that need healing. And acknowledges that he knows I am feeling into all the places that have been broken, even says, “you look good.” He thinks my mascara stained eyes look good…that my tears are always ready to rise…am always in my soul work.
As time has evolved, I feel less a need to find out why and what the tears are about. Whether I’m in my own dream session or working with another’s dreams…this privilege of being in the connection…is always accompanied by the rising of tears. To truly embody the feeling is the movement of my soul…the conversation with soul...with the Beloved.
And such a sweet moment to see that I am not alone in this recognition of the potency and the presence of tears.
David Whyte in his new book “Consolations” writes, “The French philosopher Camus used to tell himself quietly to live to the point of tears, not as a call for maudlin sentimentality, but as an invitation to the deep privilege of belonging and the way belonging affects us, shapes us and breaks our heart at a fundamental level. It is a fundamental dynamic of human incarnation to be moved by what we feel, as if surprised by the actuality and privilege of love and affection and its possible loss.”
Mary Jo Heyen is a Natural Dreamwork Practitioner working with clients throughout the country and abroad in person, phone or Skype. Learn more about her work with dreams at www.maryjoheyen.com or www.thenaturaldream.com