i do that too...
When we work with our dreams over time they help heal the parts of us that were wounded…truly they soften us…soften our hard protective shells…shells that were often necessary in order to survive…and yet conditioned us to be other than who we truly are…
Working with our dreams we learn that they both challenge and cherish us. At first we can feel the challenge, the pinch to the ego, to the self that we have become comfortable with and we can feel strong resistance to the dream’s healing medicine. Yet (and yet takes time) we stay with it and our trust of the dreams deepens and we begin to feel how truly cherished and loved we are…treasured…and begin to welcome the challenges of the our dreams because we both know and feel their love for us.
As we discover that the learned ways of conditioning no longer serve our true self…our soul self..we begin to lay down those ways and remember who it is we truly are. We learn to take the healing medicine in the dreams and begin to move through life not with an isolating willfulness but rather an open hearted vulnerable willingness and we begin to recover our birthright…our soulright capacity to be with and feel all that is.
For over ten years my dreams have asked me to lay down that which separates me from soul. It’s not always easy…rarely is…even when I’m willing, but I trust the dreams utterly and this past year something new and subtle began to unfold.
There began a spontaneous rising in my consciousness of memories of ways I have been, things I have said and done…the very things I can easily judge in others…ways I can dismiss them…separate from them…all ways I can turn another into other.
These memories have been unsolicited and seemingly endless, yet I knew something important was happening inside me and surprisingly and gratefully shame wasn’t rising. My ego may feel pinched…I may wince at the memory (it is hard to see and acknowledge our own hard edges.) Over the years...slowly...I learned to be with my own messiness without going to shame. And now I found these rising memories were teaching me that I could be with another in their messiness …in their wounded conditioning…without going to blame.
When I see someone behaving in a way that I could judge or marginalize the memories of my own actions rise and then a simple humble awareness in four words…”I do that too”…and something in me softens towards them and towards myself.
This layer of protection that separated me from another is dissolving to reveal a common ground we all share. Each in our own way, with our own flavor and style all react from our wounds and in a place where I could turn judgement against another it now turns towards myself…”I do that too.” Again and especially because this awareness isn’t shame producing, this feels true. It is an invitation to lay down that which separates me from another…”I do that too.” We truly are all in this together.
As I do this (and sometimes I don’t) and don’t react, don’t try to stop it…simply shine the light of awareness in the moment of “I do that too” I am healing these afflictive states, the ones that create duality. This reactive energy gets broken down and healed leaving in its wake more of a clear field of soul….a softening and a compassion for myself and another…
(Image by Alice Moi)
Mary Jo Heyen is a certified Natural Dreamwork Practitioner working with clients in person, phone or video conference. Learn more about her work with dreams at www.maryjoheyen.com.