gratitude and grief...
November is a time when we are heading into the holidays…a time when we are expected to give thanks and be grateful for what we have…a time we find ourselves in the midst of our families…with our myriad memories and traditions.
For many this can be a difficult thing to do, an overwhelming expectation, especially if our world, our life, our health, our relationships are less than satisfying. We may be grieving the death of a loved one, loss of a relationship, a job. We may feel alone in the world. Gratitude can be hard to come by in these situations.
In a place where we might want to feel some compassion, some kindness towards ourselves we can develop an ‘if only’ attitude. If only I had a partner, if only my loved one hadn’t died, if only…if only…if only…then we would be happy and grateful for our life. We keep postponing living and experiencing of our life until some future date when everything comes together.
Or we might dismiss our difficult feelings, believing that life is a sliding scale, “Well, others have it worse so I shouldn’t feel badly about my own loss or grief.” We don’t even allow ourselves these painfully tender moments of loneliness.
How do we find our way through these times…which is life itself? How do we, each in our own given circumstances, find a measure of wholeness? There are really quite a few, including exploring our dreams and the unique and personal support and teaching they bring each night.
Our dreams know that many of us may struggle with support in the outer world so they show us the support we have in the inner world…dream figures who come to us in kindness, love and support. Being in this inner relationship…feeling the love…we begin to love ourselves…and that is who we become in the outer world.
Our dreams also won’t let these ways of thinking…whether we are negative or resigned…go unchallenged. They show us with great directness what role we play and choices we make in our living a fulfilling or unfulfilling life. Then, as always, it is our choice to look at this aspect of ourselves and work with it or not.
To find the healing and wholeness in our dreams is neither an easy nor a quick fix…but it is a true and thorough one.
Mary Jo Heyen is a certified Natural Dreamwork Practitioner working with clients in person, phone or Skype. Learn more about her work with dreams at www.maryjoheyen.com.